Game of Thrones: Season 3!

Game-of-Thrones-WallpaperSeason 3 of HBO’s Game of Thrones kicked off awesomely, if you ask me! A Storm of Swords, book 3 of George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series, is without a doubt one of my favorite books of all time, regardless of genre. It goes without saying then that I was almost uncomfortably feverish anticipating the season 3 premier. I wasn’t sure how the show would deal with various ideas and plot threads, but if episode 1 was any indicator, D.B. Weiss and David Benioff are making some savvy decisions.

Normally, Dustin Luke Nelson, Justin Daugherty, and I will be doing roundtable-like recaps (or some kind of feature) after each episode over on the Sundog Lit. blog, but I was too excited not to get started right away!

To begin with, starting with last week’s premier, I’m glad the producers and FX teams aren’t wasting time/effort on Tyrion’s nose. It sounds like a minor detail, but the littlest Lannister lost his nose at the Battle of Blackwater in the books (as well as sustaining even more aesthetic damage) and I wasn’t sure how the show would or could pull it off believably. I read somewhere recently that, for all intents and purposes, Peter Dinklage is the face of the show and the face must have a nose! His wicked scar is good enough for me.

I was also really wondering how the show would address Ser Barristan Selmy’s character and when they revealed him. In the books, he is introduced in Astapor as Arstan Whitebeard (book 2?), a servant of Strong Belwas, and only later is he identified as Ser Barristan. The suspension of disbelief is easier in the books, but it wouldn’t have made any sense at all for Ser Barristan’s true identity to go unnoticed, especially by Jorah Mormont.

Speaking of Strong Belwas, he’s noticeably absent from the show in season 3, which is a shame because I really like him in the books! He’s not scheduled to appear in the show this season (at least according to the chatter on the interwebbings), so it’s probably safe to assume he’ll remain MIA for the HBO series. This isn’t entirely surprising given how many characters populate Martin’s books — the number is kind of staggering.

Meera and Jojen Reed of Graywater — very notably absent in season 2, in my opinion — made their appearance in last night’s second episode of season 3, which is good because I honestly have no idea how Bran’s story arc could advance without them.

One thing that the show is acing as far as I’m concerned (that we were given hints of toward the end of season 2) is Margery Tyrell’s character. In the books, her cunning is evident from the time the idea is proposed of her marrying Joffrey. Like the Lannisters, she’s a highborn, and it’s crystal clear she’s got a mind for how the game of thrones is played! In fact, Lady Margery always seems to be just a step ahead of Cersei’s conniving, and you get a few inklings of this right away in the season 3′s premier.

Things are heating up!

5 Things About the Unicorn Apocalypse

unicorn_apocalypse1)    Glitter no longer is despised by men everywhere; it is instead manufactured by the Unicorns, given extreme hypnotically stimulating properties, and quickly takes the place of cocaine. Unsavory “gentlemen” snort lines of Glitter off strippers’ asses in shady club bathrooms the world over. The whole thing is still pretty unsanitary.

2)    Skittles become the currency by which nations measure their wealth. “Taste the Rainbow,” however, becomes a global sex act phenomenon, sparking the advent of the “Rainbow Orgy.”

3)    Due to the “Taste the Rainbow” global sex act phenomenon, Leprechauns in all corners of the world are ultimately forced, by necessity, to become extremely underpaid novelty sex workers. Pots of gold only spark genuine interest if the gold coins are the gold foil-wrapped chocolate kind (or the eponymous prophylactics). Regarding the latter, the Unicorns approve of the humans’ newfound concern for sexual safety and subsequent prevention of any future population explosions.

4)    Circumcision is soon considered grotesque and, thus, becomes taboo. Men desire a corporeal aesthetic look more akin to their new rulers’ most distinguishing physical characteristic. The unicorns are amused at the humans’ sheep-like mentality but still basically/ostensibly find them pesky and irksome. Between Glitter benders and Tasting the Rainbow, Humans can’t be bothered to worry about things like governing, working, or really anything that does not include Glitter benders and Rainbow orgies.

5)    Humans, amid their narcotic-infused bacchanalia—due primarily to the nearly infinite supply of Glitter—become truly useless to Earth’s new Unicorn overlords and, as a consequence of their lacking any real raison d’être, are swiftly eliminated. (Though, it should be noted, that in their altogether tweaked-out reveling in drugs and debauchery, mankind barely even noticed.) The sudden hostile power grab by Unicorns over the now-extinct human race almost immediately sparks the great “Hundred Years Unicorn-Pegasus War,” even dividing the once formidable union between Care Bears and My Little Ponies. Narwhals and Swordfish take the fight of one-horned creatures to the sea.

  1. The resulting war of Rainbows, Glitter, and Blood reduces the planet to rubble and among mammals, only the three-toed sloth survives to inherit the earth (who survived simply because they moved too slowly to join the conflict on either side. Their cries of victory, “The giant carnivorous Megatherium will rise again!” takes an entire millennia to disseminate among their kind.
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

So Many Projects, So Little Time…

Weird clock DaliHow do I get myself into these things?

I can’t say no; that’s where the problems start.

It’s OK, I suppose. I’d rather be busy than bored, but by some recent tabulations, I’m averaging about 90 hrs. of work each week.

If something’s gotta give, then sleep is that something.

It’s O-K, but just barely.

Teaching four classes, working at the college’s writing center, training CPR & Nonviolent Crisis Intervention (NCI) classes, writing grants and proposals (plus freelance editing etc.) — it sort of takes a toll on one’s “free time.”

Free time. Now there’s a novel concept. . .

Speaking of novel, time spent actually writing novel(s) and stories has really suffered. I mean, I want to write. I can even [occasionally] magick some time out of thin air that I could use to write. However, by the time any of this happens, my brain feels like it’s been submerged in a jar of molasses. Or maybe sorghum. I dunno, something dark and viscous.

I was whinging (ask a Canadian) the other night on Twitter about this predicament, saying something to the effect of “Having trouble just thinking about writing #LongDays…” and Justin Daugherty offered some simple advice but advice that was probably spot on nonetheless: “Do it. Writing is the most important thing.”

Fuck yeah it is!

I got a little bit scribbled into a notebook but it was better than nothing. It was better than putting it off until tomorrow and tomorrow became tomorrow became next week etc. &c.

Writing: Make like Nike and just do it!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Happy New Book Day!

Books March-27-2013

Today’s been a really kickass book day!

First, a surprise arrived from my good friend David S. Atkinson (who’s easily the coolest guy I know) in the form of the rare(ish) white version of Adam Levin‘s THE INSTRUCTIONS (one of my two favorite books of all time)!!

Also, my ARC of Benjamin Percy‘s RED MOON showed up, ready for a through reading, skinning, analysis, drying/tanning, mounting and, ultimately, reviewing!!

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

My Pet Serial Killer: Authors Abducted!

mypetserialkiller

Local authors are missing; many more are now seeking placement in WitSec.

Another mysterious message, the second after yesterday’s nebulous ransom note, was discovered at 3:14 a.m. Central Standard Time at the Cat13 offices that read simply: “PLEASE HELP!”

However, the new handwriting sample differs from that appearing on the back of yesterday’s ransom note. This time, the frantic word’s were hastily painted directly on the brick facade of the Cat13 HQ, downtown.

Omaha Police are working together with Federal agents, but few leads reportedly exist. Two expert graphologist teams are stumped.

Legendary profiler and criminologist, Michael J. Seidlinger, arrived moments ago to create a composite description of the suspect:

Alias/Known As: “The Main Plot Marauder”

Real name: Joseph Michael Owens

Number of victims: 37

Description:

~Wrote short stories published in local newspapers and journals.
~Targeted interested parties responding to published fiction; proceeded to write addendums to effective fiction, often with interested parties enticed into becoming secondary characters in his fiction.
~Continued communication with interested parties for up to 6 months prior to first incursion; promised immortality in the form of his characters.
~Targeted up to 5 victims at any given time; met with victims at least twice a month, often with minor lacerations and damage to victim’s body, all in line with fiction originally written.
~Progressed over 6-12 month duration until victim was rendered weak and incapacitated based on death of fictional character(s) of source material found in local newspapers and journals.
~Completed fiction/target victim by rendering victim weak and vulnerable, lured victim to a secluded location for subsequent dispatch.
~Victims’ bodies never found; only fingers and eyes found in killer’s ice-locker.

Be Mine

“So no matter what, the media’s going to make the victim as innocent as can be, no matter what the victim might have done, there’ll be this disconnection from reality and fiction when it comes to serial murder so it doesn’t really mean that much to answer why, and I’m really trying not to answer the question why because no matter how hard I try I’m not going to be saying what you want me to say because I don’t really know what you want. I don’t know the answer.”

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

C@T13 R@N$0M3!! [and only a note left behind...]

Ransom Note

The note, written on the back of this ransom (in tense, narrow handwriting that favors a “left of upright slant”), says that it may or may not be pertinent to something — or someone(s) — missing and was only signed, “MPSK”…

We’re told we should know more tomorrow once graphologists can analyze the penmanship further.

Early tomorrow…

Tagged , , , ,

Read This: xTx’s ‘Billie the Bull’

billie-the-bullLooking for something killer to read? Do you like your books short and punchy? Do you have a pulse? If you answered yes to any of these, odds are you will like Billie the Bull by xTx, now available from MudLuscious Press imprint, Nephew.

I reviewed the book over at Sundog Lit:

Rarely does a book capture what it means to be perfect—or as close to perfect as possible—simply because there are so many variables at play. It doesn’t necessarily matter whether or not the book is long or short, whether it is an epic or a chapbook. Length is all but arbitrary in this context because it takes an incredible amount of skill to hold it all together, to give the reader the impression the book might actually burst at the spine, or that the words might careen off the pages like a train derailed. It’s this sense of imminent catastrophe that ignites a glowing ember to raging inferno, which then stokes the fires in the boiler that propels the work forward…

Hit the jump above to read more. Needless to say, I loved it!

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

My Top 10 Literary Websites: 2013 edition!

Best EverIn 2010, I wrote the most popular post on Category Thirteen, ever. I listed my Top 10 Literary Websites and, apparently, people really dug that topic — enough, at least, that they ended up on my site and must’ve told others about it. Well, it’s 2013 and I’ve realized something: I was a slacker for 2011 and 2012 (among many other things, obvi.). So, in the spirit of giving people what they want, I’ve updated my list and am pretty damn excited about it!

Let’s take a look my top 10 literary websites, and by 10, of course I mean 12!

1 ) The Rumpus – The more things change, the more they stay the same. This should really be no surprise. Not only has the Rumpus kept on doing what it does best (i.e. just about everything), they continue to up their game, which very few websites can claim. Isaac Fitzgerald and Stephen have a truly amazing thing going with The Rumpus with some great original ideas (e.g. “The Daily Rumpus,” “Letters in the Mail,” “The Last Book I Loved,” “Where I Write,” etc.), and it doesn’t hurt that they have some incredible talent backing them up, specifically their essays editor, Roxane Gay, and Dear Sugar herself, Cheryl Strayed. It seems incredible that I’ve actually written for this site given the level of talent surrounding it! Their book club is also stellar—you should join!

2 ) The Nervous BreakdownI really can’t say enough good things about Brad Listi and the work he puts into his Other People Podcast. Listi’s really on the bleeding edge of what’s hot in lit. right now and you needn’t look any further than his A+ guest list. The Nervous Breakdown serves as a truly wonderful compliment to the show with hilarious author self-interviews, fantastic essays, and kickass book club.

3) The MillionsThe Millions is still awesome. C. Max Magee’s site has been featured on NPR and noted by The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, and The Village Voice, among others. One of my favorite lit-related things in the universe is The Millions’ “A Year in Reading” where the editors ask a bunch of writers I really admire what their favorite books of the year were. The Millions’ “Top 10” and “Hall of Fame” are also can’t miss features.

4 ) HTMLGiant – Blake Butler & co. are still keeping lit. edgy at HTMLGiant. I’m a huge fan of their “25 Points” feature, as well as their giveaways, commentaries, and multi-part series (like “How to Be a Critic”). HTMLGiant also features a lot of writers I love reading like Jimmy Chen, Melissa Broder, Sean Lovelace, Lily Hoang, Adam Robinson, and Peter Tieryas Liu.

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Goodreads Shenanigans! Giveaway Winners

I just wanted to take a quick minute to say congrats to the winners of the 2013 Goodreads Shenanigans! giveaway (which ended March 4th):

Smily H.
Athina S.
Aaron L.
Carl G.
Eliza B.
Rhonda F.
Chris P.

The press review copies all went out in the mail this morning (one is even headed to Canada).

I know it was a giveaway and just about everyone likes stuff, but I still can’t help being incredibly humbled that 589 people entered the giveaway!

In the end, I hope you all enjoy this short collection!

Shenanigans Goodreads cover

Tagged , , , , , , ,
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,060 other followers

%d bloggers like this: